Trust me, slowing down actually gets you there faster

Hey, gorgeous!  How’s your schedule looking?

If I asked you for quality time so we can catch up, how long would you keep me waiting, 1 month…3 months?

You’re a busy guy, I get it.  And thanks to social media, we’re all feeling the pressure to post regular status updates of interest to 700+ of our so-called friends.

I’ll let you in on a secret. Real panic for me is having a couple weeks go by with the most exciting thing going on is the latest Game of Thrones episode. (Go Team Tyrion!)


Permit me to ask, though, how’s the pursuit for social proof working out?

Do you ever suspect you’re being used, worn-down by your barrage of connections – family, friends, acquaintances, employer…staying fit – this machine you call “Reality”?

What if I told you the reason you’re exhausted is because you want to be?

“Bullshit!” you’d say?


So answer me this.

Why does a smart, organized “closer” like yourself consistently fail to schedule adequate ‘me’ time’?

Why does it seem like you have little to no control over your own schedule?

Maybe it’s because on a deeper level you know that the meaning you’ve applied to the onslaught of activities is a total scam.

And part of you is scared to death of finding out.

So you fill your life with ‘busy-ness’ so you don’t wade through the inevitable sewage that comes from deep introspection.


Introspection involves questioning what motivates you to action; then asking why you’re motivated to do it.

You dig into why you’re embroiled in tasks, hobbies, events and obligations that provide no greater meaning beyond being just one more thing to add to your curriculum vitae.

This process takes the blinders off, causing a chain reaction of anxiety, doubt, frustration, anger and a deadening sense of futility.


[blockQuote position=”center”]Congratulations!  You’re having an existential crisis.[/blockQuote]


The cold dread that nobody is as appreciative as you’d hoped… and worse yet, YOU don’t care… slowly creeps up on you.

At this point,  you might start mercilessly flaying yourself.

“What is TRUE?!”

“Did I ever know?”

“How can I know what is true for me now?

“Man, I’ve been living this lie for how long?!!” What a fucking moron!


Why in hell would you want to disrupt your perfectly structured life with all this thinking and <shudder> feeling?

Well, if you’re not living YOUR truth (what feels good and authentic to you) then you’re living a con someone else sold you as THEIR truth.

Sometimes, this ‘someone’ lives inside your head.


If you like the idea of a con artist pulling your strings, stop reading now.


If you want to be in the driver’s seat and if you want to change how the scenery looks along the way, read on.


[blockQuote position =”center”]Clarity hitches a ride when you man up.[/blockQuote]


You’ve been covering up with deeds and accomplishments that have you perpetually worried you’re not showing up enough to stay relevant.

Freedom happens as you train yourself out of compulsively saying “yes” to every request that comes your way.

Face what you hope will be neutralized by being everyone’s golden son.

Warning: You may have to confront aspects of your personality you secretly think are ugly, shameful, weak or pathetic.

As you eliminate what used to be your self-worth indicators that left you running on empty, you’ll see signposts directing you towards more meaning that’s energizing, not draining.


In short: the fulfillment that eludes you (as you race from one initiative to the next) shows up when you slow down.

  1. Take a deep breath.
  2. Notice where the tension is coming from.
  3. Ask yourself what’s causing that tension.
  4. Choose as your GPS not what looks good, or what makes others happy, but what feels good.  Go with what syncs with your core values.
  5. Follow your gut indicators towards what will make life more meaningful.
  6. Kick cynicism and skepticism to the curb.
  7. Experience that rush of freedom. Enjoy the ride!


If you’re stuck and need directions, contact me.




  1. Goddess Intellect - Reply

    Hi Nelly- I just came across your blog while checking out the Spiritual Badass group. This speaks to me on so many levels. I am now reaping the rewards from slowing down and making time for myself. I practice saying no everyday and I am now very selective about how my energy is being distributed. I’ve also found that by slowing down my creative juices flow much better. Cheers to slowing down!

    • Nelly Mentor - Reply

      Thanks for commenting! I’m curious at how you got past the discomfort of saying “no”. A lot of people struggle with that and I’m thinking of writing on this topic, so I’d love it if you shared your experience on how you arrived that saying “no” helped you slow down. Contact me on FB if it’s more convenient.

Leave Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *